Ta tema je zaključena
evo....ena basen:
miska pa slonchek celo noch fukata...
pa se mishka sred dopoldneva prebudi, pa vidi de je slon mrtu...
pa si reche:
>za en sam fuk bom zdej ceu zhivlene grob kopala...
ma vas zmer rajchasa ni...je samo prostor in situacija
Šala dneva
Avtor teme:
misti
, 4. sep 2002, 01:00
#101
aakhut
-
- Lunatik
-
- Št. objav: 19 138
Objavljeno: 9. december 2002, 01:00
evo....ena basen:
miska pa slonchek celo noch fukata...
pa se mishka sred dopoldneva prebudi, pa vidi de je slon mrtu...
pa si reche:
>za en sam fuk bom zdej ceu zhivlene grob kopala...
ma vas zmer rajchasa ni...je samo prostor in situacija
tut che pisker okol obrnesh pa se nanga vsedesh.....she zmeri sedish na dnu piskra
#102
Tamburin
-
- D član
-
- Št. objav: 2 762
Objavljeno: 9. december 2002, 01:00
Ko smo že pri živalih:
Krtek prileze ven na nudl plaži ravno med ženske noge in vpraša: "Ježek, a si ti?"
Tišina.
Pa spet: "Ježek, a si ti?"
Tišina.
Potem povoha in vpraša: "Ježek, a si crknu?!"
Tamara
*******************
Krtek prileze ven na nudl plaži ravno med ženske noge in vpraša: "Ježek, a si ti?"
Tišina.
Pa spet: "Ježek, a si ti?"
Tišina.
Potem povoha in vpraša: "Ježek, a si crknu?!"
Tamara
*******************
#103
pokowc
-
- Brez statusa
-
- Št. objav: 5 844
Objavljeno: 9. december 2002, 01:00
marsa, briši tale moj post tuki, ki je prazen
#104
aakhut
-
- Lunatik
-
- Št. objav: 19 138
Objavljeno: 11. december 2002, 01:00
evo...mal grshke mitologije...:
srecha Ojdip Sizifa, pa ga ogovori:
>Gurash a, gurash...?<
pa se sizif chez rame zadere:
>Jebi si mater<
ma vas radchasa ni...je samo prostor in situacija
tut che pisker okol obrnesh pa se nanga vsedesh.....she zmeri sedish na dnu piskra
#105
Anatha
-
- Vajenček
-
- Št. objav: 182
Objavljeno: 12. december 2002, 01:00
Marketing! (vse je res )
1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure.
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in continent X, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in continent X, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent: "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
¤ Anatha ¤
)1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."
3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure.
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in continent X, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in continent X, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent: "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."
10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
¤ Anatha ¤
#106
Anatha
-
- Vajenček
-
- Št. objav: 182
Objavljeno: 12. december 2002, 01:00
in se...zal nekatere zahtevajo malo boljse znanje anglescine...
Traveller's Tales
IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
IN A YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
IN A JAPANESE HOTEL:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
ON THE MENU OF A POLISH HOTEL:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
IN A HONGKONG SUPERMARKET:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANER'S:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
OUTSIDE A HONGKONG DRESS SHOP:
Ladies have fits upstairs.
IN A RHODES TAILOR SHOP:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
FROM THE "SOVIET WEEKLY":
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
IN AN EAST AFRICAN NEWSPAPER:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
IN A VIENNA HOTEL:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S BLACK FOREST:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.
IN A ZURICH HOTEL:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used for this purpose.
IN AN ADVERTISEMENT BY A HONGKONG DENTIST:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
IN A ROME LAUNDRY:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
ADVERTISEMENT FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
ON THE FAUCET IN A FINNISH WASHROOM:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
IN THE WINDOW OF A SWEDISH FURRIER:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
DETOUR SIGN IN KYUSHI, JAPAN:
Stop. Drive sideways.
IN A SWISS MOUNTAIN INN:
Special Today - no ice cream.
IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner dressed as a man.
IN A TOKYO BAR:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
AT A BUDAPEST ZOO:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
IN AN ACAPULCO HOTEL:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION BOOKLET ABOUT USING A HOTEL AIR CONDITIONER:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.
FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
TWO SIGNS FROM A MAJORCAN SHOP ENTRANCE:
- - - - English well talking
- - - - Here speeching American.
¤ Anatha ¤
Traveller's Tales
IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
IN A YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
IN A JAPANESE HOTEL:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
ON THE MENU OF A POLISH HOTEL:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
IN A HONGKONG SUPERMARKET:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANER'S:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
OUTSIDE A HONGKONG DRESS SHOP:
Ladies have fits upstairs.
IN A RHODES TAILOR SHOP:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
FROM THE "SOVIET WEEKLY":
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
IN AN EAST AFRICAN NEWSPAPER:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
IN A VIENNA HOTEL:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S BLACK FOREST:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.
IN A ZURICH HOTEL:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby by used for this purpose.
IN AN ADVERTISEMENT BY A HONGKONG DENTIST:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
IN A ROME LAUNDRY:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
ADVERTISEMENT FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
ON THE FAUCET IN A FINNISH WASHROOM:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
IN THE WINDOW OF A SWEDISH FURRIER:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
DETOUR SIGN IN KYUSHI, JAPAN:
Stop. Drive sideways.
IN A SWISS MOUNTAIN INN:
Special Today - no ice cream.
IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner dressed as a man.
IN A TOKYO BAR:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
AT A BUDAPEST ZOO:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
IN AN ACAPULCO HOTEL:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION BOOKLET ABOUT USING A HOTEL AIR CONDITIONER:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.
FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
TWO SIGNS FROM A MAJORCAN SHOP ENTRANCE:
- - - - English well talking
- - - - Here speeching American.
¤ Anatha ¤
#107
pokowc
-
- Brez statusa
-
- Št. objav: 5 844
#108
Marsa
-
- Uredništvo
-
- Št. objav: 60 730
Objavljeno: 15. december 2002, 01:00
Doma imam knjigo Smeh stoletij, ki je zbirka anekdot, ki je izsla leta 56, izbral in uredil pa jo je Slavko Krusnik.
Nekatere so jasno ze nekoliko pase', a nekatere pa so res zimzelene...
Tudi spodnja anekdota je iz te knjige...
Nekoc je francoski minister Talleyrand priredil gostijo, na kateri je neka starejsa dama izgubila zob. Zlobni politik ji je poslal konjski zob s sporocilom, da si steje v cast, ker ji lahko nadomesti izgubo.
Se istega dne je dobil naslednji odgovor:
"Spostovani knez,
Mi, ki smo ziveli v starih, lepih casih, vemo, kaj je prava vljudnost.
Zato cenim vaso brezhibno vzgojo in plemeniti okus, da ste si dali izpuliti lasten zob, da bi mi povrnili malenkostno izgubo. Vas zob bom tako kot dokaz vase vljudnosti vkovala v zlato.
Zagotavljam vam, da ne bom zamudila nobene priloznosti, ko bom lahko svojim gostom pokazala dragoceni spominek na Talleyranda.
Vasa vedno vdana
Eleonore Marquise de Cardignan."
Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
Nekatere so jasno ze nekoliko pase', a nekatere pa so res zimzelene...
Tudi spodnja anekdota je iz te knjige...
Nekoc je francoski minister Talleyrand priredil gostijo, na kateri je neka starejsa dama izgubila zob. Zlobni politik ji je poslal konjski zob s sporocilom, da si steje v cast, ker ji lahko nadomesti izgubo.
Se istega dne je dobil naslednji odgovor:
"Spostovani knez,
Mi, ki smo ziveli v starih, lepih casih, vemo, kaj je prava vljudnost.
Zato cenim vaso brezhibno vzgojo in plemeniti okus, da ste si dali izpuliti lasten zob, da bi mi povrnili malenkostno izgubo. Vas zob bom tako kot dokaz vase vljudnosti vkovala v zlato.
Zagotavljam vam, da ne bom zamudila nobene priloznosti, ko bom lahko svojim gostom pokazala dragoceni spominek na Talleyranda.
Vasa vedno vdana
Eleonore Marquise de Cardignan."
Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
Jaz iščem le eno; da bi izrazil tisto, kar hočem. In ne iščem novih oblik, temveč jih najdem.
Picasso
Picasso
#109
Marsa
-
- Uredništvo
-
- Št. objav: 60 730
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
Se ena iz Smeha stoletij
Skladatelj Haendel je med dirigiranjem koncerta opazil, da se njegov znanec, pisatelj komedij, kar naprej smeje in glasno pogovarja s sosedo.
Po koncertu ga je poklical in ostel:
"Povejte mi, lepo prosim, zakaj ste se med mojim koncertom smejali?
Ali se morda jaz smejem, kadar gledam vase komedije?"
Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
Skladatelj Haendel je med dirigiranjem koncerta opazil, da se njegov znanec, pisatelj komedij, kar naprej smeje in glasno pogovarja s sosedo.
Po koncertu ga je poklical in ostel:
"Povejte mi, lepo prosim, zakaj ste se med mojim koncertom smejali?
Ali se morda jaz smejem, kadar gledam vase komedije?"
Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
Jaz iščem le eno; da bi izrazil tisto, kar hočem. In ne iščem novih oblik, temveč jih najdem.
Picasso
Picasso
#110
aakhut
-
- Lunatik
-
- Št. objav: 19 138
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
srecha dihurchek dihurchko:
KOKO PA TI DONS LEPO ZAUDARJASH!
ma vas rad clo zjutrichasa ni...je samo prostor in situacija
tut che pisker okol obrnesh pa se nanga vsedesh.....she zmeri sedish na dnu piskra
#111
Marsa
-
- Uredništvo
-
- Št. objav: 60 730
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
clo zjutri... 
))
To pa tud zame velja...
))
Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
))To pa tud zame velja...
))Marsa
Cas ni ovira, temvec sredstvo za uresnicitev moznega. I CHING
Jaz iščem le eno; da bi izrazil tisto, kar hočem. In ne iščem novih oblik, temveč jih najdem.
Picasso
Picasso
#112
pokowc
-
- Brez statusa
-
- Št. objav: 5 844
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
<So na Hrvaškem pogruntali, da gre Slovenija pa prav zares v EU in se
<odloÄŤili, da "otoplijo" odnose s "prijateljsko" sosedo. Pa je Sanader
<povabil Ropa na državniški obisk. Ker Rupel ni imel kaj pametnejšega
<svetovati (kot ponavadi), je Rop vabilo sprejel. Seveda so ga sprejeli z
<vsemi častmi. Rdeča preproga, častna četa, plehmuzika, potem pa še parada
<na trgu bana JelaÄŤiÄŤa v Zagrebu. Stojita Rop in Sanader na ÄŤastni trubuni
<in mimo prijezdi enota hrvaške konjeniške garde (tisti v rdečih plaščih in
<koĹľuhastih kapah, pa naÄŤiÄŤkanih, kot da je vsak general). In glej ga
<nemarneĹľa, je konj pod tribuno dvignil rep in prav nagravĹľno prdnil. "Ja
<se izvinjavam" je ves zardel hitel Sanader. Rop pa: "NiÄŤ hudega, jaz sem
<tako mislil, da je prdnil konj!"
<odloÄŤili, da "otoplijo" odnose s "prijateljsko" sosedo. Pa je Sanader
<povabil Ropa na državniški obisk. Ker Rupel ni imel kaj pametnejšega
<svetovati (kot ponavadi), je Rop vabilo sprejel. Seveda so ga sprejeli z
<vsemi častmi. Rdeča preproga, častna četa, plehmuzika, potem pa še parada
<na trgu bana JelaÄŤiÄŤa v Zagrebu. Stojita Rop in Sanader na ÄŤastni trubuni
<in mimo prijezdi enota hrvaške konjeniške garde (tisti v rdečih plaščih in
<koĹľuhastih kapah, pa naÄŤiÄŤkanih, kot da je vsak general). In glej ga
<nemarneĹľa, je konj pod tribuno dvignil rep in prav nagravĹľno prdnil. "Ja
<se izvinjavam" je ves zardel hitel Sanader. Rop pa: "NiÄŤ hudega, jaz sem
<tako mislil, da je prdnil konj!"
#113
soncek
-
- Vajenček
-
- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"Ok, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally the bat slowed down and all the others excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good, "said the first bat, "because I DIDN'T!"
... v zivljenju je pomembna samo ljubezen ...
"Ok, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally the bat slowed down and all the others excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good, "said the first bat, "because I DIDN'T!"
... v zivljenju je pomembna samo ljubezen ...
#114
soncek
-
- Vajenček
-
- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 16. december 2002, 01:00
Takmicili se Bosanac, Hrvat i Srbin tko od njih ima najbolji sluh.
Kaze Srbin:
Jedno vece nisam mogao da spavam od neke buke. Ja udjem u
kuhinju kad ono mis jede secer.
Kaze Hrvat: Nije to nista. Ja neku vecer nikako da zaspim.
Pa sidjem u garazu kad ono korozija nagriza moj auto.
Kaze Bosanac: Eh, nije to nista. Ja neko vece sjedim a nekakva
buka se cuje. Ja otvorim moj ormar kad ono mi kaput izlazi iz mode.
Kaze Srbin:
Jedno vece nisam mogao da spavam od neke buke. Ja udjem u
kuhinju kad ono mis jede secer.
Kaze Hrvat: Nije to nista. Ja neku vecer nikako da zaspim.
Pa sidjem u garazu kad ono korozija nagriza moj auto.
Kaze Bosanac: Eh, nije to nista. Ja neko vece sjedim a nekakva
buka se cuje. Ja otvorim moj ormar kad ono mi kaput izlazi iz mode.
#115
Milf
-
- Lunin Odvisnik
-
- Št. objav: 1 623
Objavljeno: 17. december 2002, 01:00
soncek, hudo dober vic. he, he
mipo
mipo
It's better be dead and cool than alive and uncool
#116
zirosi
-
- Vseprisotni
-
- Št. objav: 594
Objavljeno: 17. december 2002, 01:00
Človek lahko dela, kar hoče, ne more pa hoteti, kot bi želel.
#117
soncek
-
- Vajenček
-
- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 18. december 2002, 01:00
Napravili Slovenci atomsku bombu, pa se odlucili, da ce je baciti na
Ameriku, kako bi ju isprobali. Izda Kucan naredbu i Slovenci ispale
bombu.
Cekaju tri dana, Amerikanci nista.
Naprave oni jacu bombu, i opet ispale. Opet cekaju tri dana i opet
nista.
Naprave i trecu jos jacu i opet ispale.
Amerikanci opet nista. I sad Kucanu cudno, sto Bill ne reagira, pa ga
nazvase telefonom: "Sta je Bille, zasto ne uzvracas?"
"Milane, picka ti materina, sravnat cu vas sa zemljom cim vas nadzem na
karti....!!!"
>
> Moski se pogovarjajo kateri ima lepso zenicko
>
> Francoz pravi: ko se moja usede na konja ima nogice do tal,
> Pa ne da bi bil konj majhen ona ima teko lepe dolge nogice.
>
> Anglez pravi:Jaz mojo lahko primem z rokama okoli pasu,
> Pa ne da bi imel velike roke ampak ona je tako vitka v pasu.
>
> Crnogorec pravi: ko jaz krenem na siht in jo lopnem po ritki se ji
> ko se vrnem se vedno ritka trese,
> Pa ne da bi imela ona tako veliko rit ampak imam jaz tako kratek
> šiht.
S
ncek
Ameriku, kako bi ju isprobali. Izda Kucan naredbu i Slovenci ispale
bombu.
Cekaju tri dana, Amerikanci nista.
Naprave oni jacu bombu, i opet ispale. Opet cekaju tri dana i opet
nista.
Naprave i trecu jos jacu i opet ispale.
Amerikanci opet nista. I sad Kucanu cudno, sto Bill ne reagira, pa ga
nazvase telefonom: "Sta je Bille, zasto ne uzvracas?"
"Milane, picka ti materina, sravnat cu vas sa zemljom cim vas nadzem na
karti....!!!
">
> Moski se pogovarjajo kateri ima lepso zenicko
>
> Francoz pravi: ko se moja usede na konja ima nogice do tal,
> Pa ne da bi bil konj majhen ona ima teko lepe dolge nogice.
>
> Anglez pravi:Jaz mojo lahko primem z rokama okoli pasu,
> Pa ne da bi imel velike roke ampak ona je tako vitka v pasu.
>
> Crnogorec pravi: ko jaz krenem na siht in jo lopnem po ritki se ji
> ko se vrnem se vedno ritka trese,
> Pa ne da bi imela ona tako veliko rit ampak imam jaz tako kratek
> šiht
.S
ncek
#118
soncek
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- Vajenček
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- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 19. december 2002, 01:00
spet jaz ... hihhih ....
Se srecata dva kondoma na kavi pa malo pocvekata: > Pa rece prvi: " A ves, da se mi zadnje case sanja o otrocih?" > Mu drugi odvrne: "Kaj, se ti je
strgalo?"
Sncek
Se srecata dva kondoma na kavi pa malo pocvekata: > Pa rece prvi: " A ves, da se mi zadnje case sanja o otrocih?" > Mu drugi odvrne: "Kaj, se ti je
strgalo?"
S
ncek
#119
mushi
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- Lunatik
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- Št. objav: 3 376
Objavljeno: 19. december 2002, 01:00
Tale ta zadnji o kondomih hahah....
Kak se bodo po novem imenoval Pogrebni zavodi?
ZDRAVNIŠKA ZAKLJUČNA DELA.
mushi
hahah....Kak se bodo po novem imenoval Pogrebni zavodi?
ZDRAVNIŠKA ZAKLJUČNA DELA.
mushi
Mushi
#120
pokowc
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- Brez statusa
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- Št. objav: 5 844
Objavljeno: 19. december 2002, 01:00
marsa, briši tale moj post tuki, ki je prazen
#121
soncek
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- Vajenček
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- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 20. december 2002, 01:00
upam, da tole ne bo zasedlo velik prostora 
Ovaj kratki kviz trebao bi ustanoviti vase opce znanje. Uzmite olovku i pisite na komad papira. Vazno je da gledate pitanje po pitanje.
>> > Nemojte gledati sljedece pitanje dok niste rijesili prethodno.
>> > > >
>> > > > 1. Navedi imena dvije vrste sladoleda:
>> > > >
>> > > > _____________________________________________________
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Jesi? Idemo dalje...
>> > > >
>> > > > 2. Sad napisi dvije vrste cigareta:
>> > > >
>> > > > _____________________________________________________
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Jos malo...
>> > > >
>> > > > 3. Sad navedi dvije rijeke u Argentini:
>> > > >
>> > > > ______________________________________________________
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > > Sta je? Lizanje i pusenje ti ide, a geografiju pojma nemas!! >ha, ha, ha
>> > > >S
ncek>> > > >
>> > > >
>> > > >
#122
soncek
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- Vajenček
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- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 20. december 2002, 01:00
a tega ste ze slisali?
RAVE-ar ujame zlato ribico!
tri želje... pa jo izpusti...
Rave-ar: (Prva) "Naj grejo vsi Rusi v Ameriko!"
Ribica: "Ni problema."
Rave-ar: (Druga) "Naj grejo vsi Kitajci v Rusijo!"
Ribica: "Storjeno."
Rave-ar: (Zadnja) "Naj grejo vsi nazaj domov!"
Ribica: " ? Zakaj pa to ?
Rave-ar: "Sam' da je muving stara!"
SNCEK
RAVE-ar ujame zlato ribico!
tri želje... pa jo izpusti...
Rave-ar: (Prva) "Naj grejo vsi Rusi v Ameriko!"
Ribica: "Ni problema."
Rave-ar: (Druga) "Naj grejo vsi Kitajci v Rusijo!"
Ribica: "Storjeno."
Rave-ar: (Zadnja) "Naj grejo vsi nazaj domov!"
Ribica: " ? Zakaj pa to ?
Rave-ar: "Sam' da je muving stara!"
S
NCEK
#123
soncek
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- Vajenček
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- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 20. december 2002, 01:00
Fuzine u Grosupljama Grosuplje dne 5.3.1999
Spoštovani:
Mobitel ste mi izklopili zaradi ostatka 21,000,00.
Mislim da vam je dobro znano da sem odvas zahtevo pogodbo o prodaji aparata GSM! POGODBU ste mi poslali sa sinom sam pogodbu izpolnil in smo bila zmenjena da pride hvam.
obljubil je da bo prišo zgodilo se je zdaj tole karje.
Mobitel sem mu uzel nazaj zaostanak vam bom poravno ker sem tudi do zdaj bijo vaš redni plačnik.
Prosim da mi mobitel priklopite da začne delat po tem takoj boste dobili svoj zaostanak. Če mi ne verjamete na besedo spustite mi mibitel za en teden če nedobite poravnanih računu od mene ga ponovno izklopite, Oprostite če ga ne uklopite prej poravnanih računov ne boste dobili ker čutim nad sabo en pritisk tega ne maram.
Če ne mislite mobitel takoj priklopit da dobite poravnane račune potem če mislite tožit lahko takojpripravljate za nasodišče. To zame neresnost nepoštenost in nekorektnost.
Kako od plačniku tako tudi od vas.
Za razumevanje se vam lepo zahvaljujem
Kovačevič
Ponavljam ko dobite to pošto takoj mi mobitel spustite da funkcjoniše čez 3 dni dobite poravnane račune.
pa to crkneš od smeha
#124
Tamburin
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- D član
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- Št. objav: 2 762
Objavljeno: 21. december 2002, 01:00
Tip vozi po avtocesti iz Kopra proti Ljubljani, pa ga prime... srat. Ustavi na prvem počivališču in steče proti WC-jem. Vrata prve kabine so zaklenjena. Ojoj! Poskusi v drugo kabino - uh, na srečo prosto!
Zapre se noter, si potegne hlače dol, se vsede na školjko... nakar zasliši glas iz prve kabine:
"Hej, živjo!"
Tip pogleda debelo, vendar vseeno vljudno odzdravi:
"Živjo.")
"Kje si?"
"Tu, na WC-ju.")
"Kaj delaš?"
"Pa... serem!")
"Dej, te pokličen kasneje, ker en tip tle v sosednjem WC-ju odgovarja na vsa moja vprašanja!"
Tamara
*******************
Zapre se noter, si potegne hlače dol, se vsede na školjko... nakar zasliši glas iz prve kabine:
"Hej, živjo!"
Tip pogleda debelo, vendar vseeno vljudno odzdravi:
"Živjo."
)"Kje si?"
"Tu, na WC-ju."
)"Kaj delaš?"
"Pa... serem!"
)"Dej, te pokličen kasneje, ker en tip tle v sosednjem WC-ju odgovarja na vsa moja vprašanja!"
Tamara
*******************
#125
soncek
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- Vajenček
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- Št. objav: 35
Objavljeno: 24. december 2002, 01:00
no bil je en simčič, k je delau v kartnonažni!
in kartonažna je bla najbol primerna tovarna za ogled!in nekega dne pride na obisk v slovenijo bush...in ga pelejo na ogled v kartonažno...pa se sprehaja bush z direktorjem pa zagleda za tekočmu trakm simčiča!pa gre k njemu pa reče:"o simčič stari ko si kej?ka pa delaš kle?"pa simčič reče:"o bush, ma dobr sm pa ti?ma dej a greva na en pir?"in sta šla na pir...direktorju se je pa zdel čudn od kje bush pozna simčiča pa nč ni reku...
in pride v slovenijo britney spears k je mela koncert...pa so jo odpelal mal pogledat v kartonažno...pa zagleda simčiča za trakm..pa gre do njega:"ja simčič ka pa ti kle?ko si kej?prit greva na eno pjačko"in sta šla...pa se je zdel direktorju ful čudno od kje simčič pozna tok slavnih ljudi..in ga je nasledn dan vprašou ko to?pa simčič reče da še papeža pozna!pa mu direktor ne verjame...
in sta šla na obisk k papežu v vatikan da direkot vid da simčič res pozna papeža..no pa prideta pred vrata pa en duhovnik odpre pa razjasn da papež ne more ker dela v tišini ker bo mel čez pol ure zelo pomembno mašo za cel svet, k bo po televizji...pa reče simčič :"povejte mu da je simčič pršou"in gre duhovnik pa pred čez pet minut pa jih spusti naprej.pa prideta do papeža pa papež reče:"simčič pozdravlen, joj oprost smpak zdle se vama ne bom mogu posvett sam te pa vabm da sodeluješ pr maši za cel svet, ti boš ministrant direktor bo pa v prvi klopi ker ni veren ok?"in kmal se je začela maša pa vse je potekal super, na sredn maše je pa diretor padu okol...pa je trajal da je pršou k seb, k pa je ga je simčič vprašou kaj je blo?
pa reče direktor:"vse je blo uredu, dokler me ni ta kitajc k je sedel zravn mene vprašal:"kdo pa je tale zravn simčiča?":))
hehe
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